weddingsv make me drug and hornr
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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