the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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