if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
