at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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