well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
