Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
