yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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