oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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