Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
