It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize