That's intense
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
