Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
