Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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