just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
