it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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