there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
