omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
