That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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