Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
