I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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