just tell him i said nine months
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
