Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
