Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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