my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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