i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
