I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
