Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize