yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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