Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
