he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
