Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
