Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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