Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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