Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
