is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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