They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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