he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
