You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He passed out mid-signature
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
