So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
