We won't sleep together?
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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