great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
