My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
