yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
