He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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