brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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