real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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