Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
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