hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
