if you like me you must not know who I am
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
