I want to walk on stilts...naked
too bad you live with your parents still
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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