in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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