everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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