i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
