Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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