I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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