Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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