I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
