WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
