I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
