Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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