Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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