i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
