you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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