You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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